Dicey Duck Triangle

By The Zorak: OT can't believe our source found out about this! Its been reported that Kristen and Dakota love Duck Dynasty, and what a big problem that's turned out to be! So, here's the story from insiders that know. Kristen, eager to cement her standing in the action film genre, has been in talks with Quentin Tarantino, and the deal has been finalized. Kristen will be staring in Tarantino's new film, "Daisy Duke ATF"! Not to give to much away, Daisy goes undercover to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi hate group trafficking in Black Market weapons. Kristen says the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good girl with bigger guns. In an aside, Kristen stated that Rob thinks the two guns she's packing are just fine and has never asked her to get a bigger pair, as a number of Tabloids have reported. In an amazing casting coup, Jennifer Lawrence is slated to play the leader of the Neo-Nazi group. Look for an dramatic shoot um up, Knife slashing cat fight in the woods. Now for the rest of the story! As the Tabloids have repeatedly screamed,  Rob and Kristen spent Christmas apart. Why? Kristen took a road trip to meet with the cast of Duck Dynasty to research Southern culture and Dakota tagged along. Things were going well until Kristen and Dakota met Jase!  Those poor girls coming face to face with that Adonis. Well, even Sainted Virgins would be tempted! It was getting out of hand, and Kristen and Dakota were about to go WWF on each other. Things finally calmed down when Jase's Old Lady threatened to give them both barrels of her second amendment remedy if they didn't stop acting like Swap cats in heat! Dakota and Kristen have made up, having escaped the spell of  that Backwoods Magic Man.  

Kristen Stewart And Red Bull Together?

What are the chances of seeing Kristen Stewart in a Super Bowl Ad for Red Bull? Not as slim as you might think! According to our sources, here's the story. Aug 17,2012, The National Enquirer, A publication renowned for it journalistic integrity and vigorous fact checking, reported the following, "Ashamed over her scandalous affair, “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart has virtually stopped eating and is basically “living on” a dangerous diet of Red Bull and cigarettes, say sources. Friends are horrified at the guilt-ridden ac­tress’ gaunt appearance and fear for her health as she apparently punishes herself for betraying the love of her life." Kristen had not been seen in public for some time and her fans were becoming concerned. When she finally returned to the public eye, she looked a little thinner, perhaps, but nonetheless fit and attractive. The clamor for the secret of Kristen's amazing Red Bull Diet began. The Enquirer had offered no details. People started saying, "That Red Bull is amazing stuff! You can live on it!" Sources shared that Red Bull was certainly aware of the buzz, but decided to bide their time to see how everything played out. Now that things have settled down, sources say, they are making their bold move, in the form of a Super Bowl Commercial. A highly placed source leaked the details exclusively to us. The Ad begins with head/shoulder shot of KS in full Vampire makeup, red eyes and all. scene shifts to head/shoulder shot of hot male model sitting in chair. CG and sound will show vein pulsing in neck. shift to KS ,who licks her lip seductively. shift to model with camera panning down to lap were he is seen holding a Red Bull. Shift KS looking perplexed. Scenes now flash rapidly between Mountain Lions, Deer and other large game animals, and the can of Red Bull. Final scenes, KS holding can of Red Bull with some dripping from her mouth. she smiles and says Yum Yum. Over voiced Disclaimer "Fortunately, no animals or models were hurt during the making of this commercial."  Final scene KS smiles and says, "Red Bull, you can live on it!" Sure hope to see this Ad at Half Time!

Kristen Stewart Royalty?

                           Kristen Stewart                              Mary Queen Of Scots

By The Zorak:Is one of the most closely guarded secrets In British Royal History beginning to leak out? The offspring of Matthew Stewart 4th Earl of Lennox came to called Henry Stuart Lord Damley, whose lineage traces  back to Mary Stewart daughter of James II of Scotland. Henry Stuart  married Mary Queen of Scots. Enough historical background. Now to the story, sources say is rocking the foundations of the Monarchy. Scholarly research into the lineage of persons deported to the penal colony at Botany Bay, with led to the first European habitation of Australia at Sydney Cove, uncovered a curious record of a family with the surname Stewart/Stuart. The two different transcriptions of the surname peaked the researcher's interest. To make a long story short, the line was painstaking trace back to the 4th Earl of Lennox, and Henry Stuart husband of Mary Queen of Scots, and forward to John Stewart, father of Kristen. This established for Kristen and her brothers a direct claim, through lineage, to the Throne of Scotland. If Kristen's brothers were to renounce their claims, Kristine would be first in line to ascend the Throne! Although none of this has become public, sources  tell of a passionate Argument waging between those opposed to and in favor of re-establishing the Scottish Monarchy. Source close to Kristin say that she has been requested, by the Crown, to make no public statement on the matter, but she asserts that if her subject call her to service, she would humbly accept, as long as she can keep her day job. Sources further report that Kristen thinks its cool, and has always believed there is a mystical connection between Hollywood and Scotland ever since he saw a picture of the statue of that famous guy Braveheart. She said wow, he looked just like Mel Gibson! Look at the pictures above,check out the noses. What do you think?

Romeo And Juliet

Kristen Stewart     Taylor Lautner

By The Zorak:  With Focus Production up in the air, everyone has been speculating about what is next for Kristen Stewart. Well, with a lot of begging and arm twisting, our sources have finally come clean.Taylor and Kristen are heading off to England shortly after Rob Pattinson heads for Australia. In a risky career move, the two  have inked a deal to star in an upcoming production of Romeo and Juliet that will be presented this Spring by The Royal Shakespearean Company. Although Artistic Director, Gregory Doran could not be reached for comment, a highly placed source within the Company offered insight into the decision. Sadly, our source lamented, with all the competing sources of entertainment available to today's youth, interest in Classical theater has waned. What better way to spark interest, he continued, than to bring in a highly skilled,accomplished actor like Taylor, with a huge following of fans who marvel at his impressive stage presence, and the insightful artistic interpretations he brings to his craft. He than spoke to the excitement Kristen Stewart will bring to the production. With all the international focus on her private life and relationships,he continued,what better choice to play Juliet, and expose her many fans to the glorious works of the Bard