Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Dicey Duck Triangle
By The Zorak: OT can't believe our source found out about this! Its been reported that Kristen and Dakota love Duck Dynasty, and what a big problem that's turned out to be! So, here's the story from insiders that know. Kristen, eager to cement her standing in the action film genre, has been in talks with Quentin Tarantino, and the deal has been finalized. Kristen will be staring in Tarantino's new film, "Daisy Duke ATF"! Not to give to much away, Daisy goes undercover to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi hate group trafficking in Black Market weapons. Kristen says the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good girl with bigger guns. In an aside, Kristen stated that Rob thinks the two guns she's packing are just fine and has never asked her to get a bigger pair, as a number of Tabloids have reported. In an amazing casting coup, Jennifer Lawrence is slated to play the leader of the Neo-Nazi group. Look for an dramatic shoot um up, Knife slashing cat fight in the woods. Now for the rest of the story! As the Tabloids have repeatedly screamed, Rob and Kristen spent Christmas apart. Why? Kristen took a road trip to meet with the cast of Duck Dynasty to research Southern culture and Dakota tagged along. Things were going well until Kristen and Dakota met Jase! Those poor girls coming face to face with that Adonis. Well, even Sainted Virgins would be tempted! It was getting out of hand, and Kristen and Dakota were about to go WWF on each other. Things finally calmed down when Jase's Old Lady threatened to give them both barrels of her second amendment remedy if they didn't stop acting like Swap cats in heat! Dakota and Kristen have made up, having escaped the spell of that Backwoods Magic Man.